Tag Archives: Edgar Casper

I’m Over You – Edgar Casper

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“Last November, at the badass express gig I found the love of my life, Mike viper. We had a winter romance which ended last month. I had no idea that he would be at tonight’s gig, so I quickly wrote this in the toilet on my type writer.”

I first met you on stage, Rapping like a prince,
You wore that track suit, I loved it! you haven’t changed it since!
Do you remember the time when I mistakenly called you vince
And on my birthday, you forgot it! Even though I dropped two hints.

Our love was so unique, I loved you and you loved me
After that gig we ran outside and carved it on a tree
Now We’ve made some mistakes, blinded by love We could not see
We actually carved it on the face of a really old lady

(She was scarred by love, like me when you left)

I’m over you!
I’ve thrown your photo’s in the sea
I’m over you!
I hope you get stung by a bee
I’m over you!
I.. (Can’t find the words/too emotional)
I’m over you!
Are you really over me?

“I’m going to use this interlude to say, I’m good! I don’t need you anymore. I’ve moved on, Time you did the same. Move on”

Remember our first christmas? The time we spent together,
I spilt merlot on your sweater, while we fumbled on the leather
My parents came home early, because of shitty weather.
nothing gay about two men watching birds of a feather.

I love the way you smell, i love the way you smile.
I love how when you bang me, it’s like a boat race up the Nile.
And when you make the coffee, you pour in Tate and lyle.
I guess you forgot I’ve been ,dia-bet-ic for a while.

I’m over you
I’ve removed your number from my phone
I’m over you
All you did was fucking moan
I’m over you
Please return my trombone
I’m over you
I don’t want to be alone

“Emotional Interlude.. Give me a minute this is a hard verse to prepare for”

On valentines day, you sent me this card, (hold up card)
Dear Edgar, I’m sorry I’m finding this hard
I’ve met someone else, he’s into Avent Garde

Edgar breaks down and exits

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I’m Edgar Casper, Hear me Rap!

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I’m the illest rapper on the mic
You may have seen me, riding my bike!
A pimped up penny farthing
I stole it from Stephen Hawking!

He won’t be needing it.
Not in his condition,
Drunk!

When I say illest rapper, it don’t mean I’m good
I’ve got a cold! And it’s spreading round the hood.

My nan thinks I’m a good boy she’s always buying me sweets,
I wanna set the record straight so I played her one of my beats..
Now she hates me!
Nanny hates me!

I used to live with my mom and dad
At 32 , my homies said that was sad..
I swear at my mum and I swear at my dad. I swear so much so people know that I’m bad.. A real sick wigga with a desire to rhyme, If I wasn’t a poet then I’d be doing time.

I’m an emc bitch! But I’m not square
I’d go to the shop with curlers in my hair
I buy the sun and hubba bubba too
If I see you in line, Then I’m jumping that que
Cos I’m bad!!
Edgar’s bad!

I’m a graffiti correction ad- min-is-traitor!
If your tags mis-spelt then I’ll correct it later
With a cock! Or a nazi swas Stikka!
Don’t mess with me, I’m a hardcore wigga!

The people of Cambridge they know my name (Snitch)
It’s no big deal cos I can handle the fame

Gangsters run hide when they see me cruising cos they know.. They just know

Yo!

I cruise around in police cars pointing out criminals
I’ll spit next line backwards cos I’m all about subliminal’s

Repiv ekim uoy kcuf.

Halloween Night

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Twas a dark and stormy halloween night
I feared opening the door would give me a fright
For the tiny monsters without supervision
May beat me up, steal my television.

It’s a 18 inch pioneer from 87
stereo speakers, technicolor, a gift from heaven
Its wooden trim was a sight to behold,
And had only the slightest glimpse of mould
friends would ask “why don’t you upgrade”
Well it was watching casualty on this box that First got me laid.

So I’m back at the house sat down all alone
To terrified to even pick up the phone,
There’s a rap at the door,and wind BLOWS through the flap
A silhouette appears as does my sudden URGE to crap

Holding back the gates I reached for the key
Wondering who the fuck it could be.
A dark creepy shadow was cast upon me
When I opened the door .. No face did I see
No children , no eyes ……just a ukulele

Play tune..

Can I help you? Who are you? Why are you bothering me?

The dark stranger was silent, apart from his ukelele.

Is there something you need? Have you come from a far?

But he just stood there playing his tiny guitar.

With one whiff of his grave infused breath
that’s when it hit me, this person was Death

Death Death Death

I begged him to stop, perhaps see my neighbour
For i am too young, please do me this favour

With that he stopped playing, and raised his guitar
All the doors they flew open and the windows shatter
My bowels they had loosened so I shattered too
As I saw spirits of children enter my room

Deaths angels, they grabbed me and punched me in the belly
It was all a distraction while death ran away with my telly!